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Reviews
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
This movie is terrible.
What a crock of crap this movie is. It is an absolute abomination... let me name some problems: Boss Nass: geez!, Jar Jar: holy crap--perhaps the worst character ever, Anakin is tremendously annoying, the plot is ridiculous. The only good thing about the movie is Darth Maul and the fight scene... every other thing is bogus. The trade federation, ugh.
It's boring, the pod race thing is overly long and a joke; characters like Sebulba and Wato are clichéd and underdeveloped. The actually interesting part (potentially) is the Palpatine/Maul story line, but of course it's neglected. This movie was a pile of boring crap.
Star Wars rules, the phantom menace drools.
A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)
A Masterpiece
This special is a bit like a Van Gogh: it may be a little melancholy (as the poster from Pocatello correctly pointed out), but it is subtle and beautiful and takes a second to re-adjust from other more overt or crass representations to appreciate. It is also hysterical and speaks to the modern condition (even now) as it pertains to Christmas and all other losses of sincerity and turns towards crassness.
The characters, of course, are stick-drawn--but the watercolor backgrounds are gorgeous in many cases. There is the cartoon-level to this special that you get when you are under 10 and there is a more subtle and impressive level that you can appreciate when you age that has allowed this wonderful program to withstand decade after decade beautifully.
I am thankful this was made and feel even happier every holiday season when I watch it. It's an absolute work of genius: unique, bold and subtle. Fantastic! 10/10
Lost in Translation (2003)
Horse Crap
This movie is so lame it hurts my teeth. It's for loser hip people who like to think a movie like this is cool or whatever, but it's a bunch of tripe. This and adaptation are an abomination of 'entertainment', a bunch of poop. thank god i don't have to watch this stuff again. Go watch the Mack instead. This thing is really a dookie on the face of what a movie should be. Miserable people in a miserable situation having no fun, but then falling in love, sorta, while all around them is shallow and they find meaning or whatever... i would rather eat my own socks than watch this movie. Um, I have to keep going so i will mention that i gave it 1/10.
Super Fly (1972)
Absolutely Classic Movie
If you are the kind of viewer that thinks blaxploitation movies are simply camp and you like to laugh at the clothes and whatnot, that's fine... I mean, they are movies after all, not secrets to curing cancer. However, if you are, it is a shame what you'll miss because this film (as with The Mack) is a superior character study and ultimately watchable. As is noted on the DVD commentary, while the clothes and vernacular seem outdated now, at the time they were 'state of the art' as it were. Another thing to remember when watching these films is the insanely low budgets necessitated short cuts like single takes and other such things that make a film 'feel' b-rate; however this film is first rate. O'Neal is excellent, as are Julius Harris and Sheila Frazier and the soundtrack is perhaps the best ever. ***** out of *****
Almost Live! (1984)
Absolutely Genius Show!
I grew up in Seattle and this show chronicled the rise of Seattle from a sleepy little nowhere town to the height of grunge and back down. However, I would imagine it would be a little hard to get if you aren't from Seattle (though, I think they edited out stuff that was totally Seattle-based on the Comedy Central version)... but if you are from Seattle (or rather Kent) like I am... this is an absolute classic. I give this show ***** out of *****.
Dracula A.D. 1972 (1972)
It's pretty rad...
I mean the people look goofy and everything, and some of the acting of the kids is a little on the overly sensational side... however, I can watch this movie over and over because it entertains on many levels. Fans of camp will love it, fans of Dracula will be puzzled... however, if you like both camp and Dracula... this one is money.
Scream Blacula Scream (1973)
Quality Entertainment...
For fans of the 50s-70s horror genre, this has got to be one of the better efforts. It has all the key ingrediants: very good lead (Marshall is obviously skilled), a beautiful girl (Pam Grier looks stunning in S,B,S), bad special effects (check out the vampire house late in the movie, woah), a decent plot, a spooky overall feel and lots of early 70s campiness (Big Willis is a good comic foil throughout and provides some memorable one liners, e.g. "a man has GOT to see his face"). Although it drags in some places early, once it picks up, it really is very entertaining. 8/10.
Blacula (1972)
William Marshall is a very good vampire...
When you consider the fact that this movie was saddled with a low budget, a title that--while certainly apropos--is essentially a punch line, and all the constraints that low budget-dom entail... this is a pretty good movie. William Marshall is very good (the 'this will be your tomb' line is delivered as convincinly as any Chris Lee utterance) and was certainly worthy of the role of Bl(Dr)acula. The era of the film provides its own fun. 7/10. The sequel is better on all counts: more scary, campy, funny, visually interesting and sexy.
On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)
The Best Bond in the Best Bond Movie
This is really the best Bond movie; it has the best plot, the best story arc and the best (although many disagree) Bond. Oh, and I love Bond movies (well, not the Tim Dalton and Pierce Brosnan ones). Lazenby just kind of 'is' Bond and he's a nice cross b/w Moore (slightly wimpy) and Connery (slightly too surly). Look, I love Connery and I really like Moore, but Lazenby (though his acting is not consistently great) is really the best.
Also, Diana Rigg is wonderful; Savalas is very good and all the supporting cast (save for Q, sadly) really shine. When I first saw this film I was startled and asked 'who is this guy?' However, after seeing all the Bonds many times, this one just really holds up nicely.
Rollerball (1975)
Cool in that Logan's Run sort of way...
If you like futuristic movies from the past, you should like this title just fine. However, if you are the sort of person that dreads at the thought of 'campy' and 'overly futuristic' versions of what the future looked like it might become (circa '75) stay away, you will hate this film.
The plot is pretty good, I suppose. The morality plays are somewhat heavy handed at points, but whatever. It's pretty good and if you are into retro design, like I am, you will quite like it.